So, I threw out 80,000 Words…
I was reading through Loyalty Betrayed (aka Series 2;Book 1) and I came to a realization.
I had originally conceived of the story as a retelling of Othello, with significant changes to the cast and the overall storyline (its more a political betrayal for the bride of the MC than it is a physical betrayal). But I ended up feeling that I had leaned too heavily on the source materials.
The storyline didn’t flow the way I wanted it to, I shoehorned in certain scenes just because they were in the play.
So, I took the first 2 chapters and threw the rest out. I needed to add a bunch of content anyways because I had removed a secondary plot of about 40,000 words (that’s going to either be a companion novella or Book 2 in the series, not sure which yet).
I spent the last day writing a new chapter-by-chapter summary and just wrapped that up at a little over 7,000 words. Now to get to the actual rewriting process.
All of the Pieces
The Centaur Incursion is 10k words deep and The Hydra Offensive is nearly through Round 1 of Paper Edits. I don’t have classes this summer, so I should be able to tear through my workload on both of those.
There, I started with an update!
Something that I’ve learned as I plot and write the stories of The Ansgari Rebellion, is that stories are more a living creation than a static work.
While the core of the series has remained essentially the same, many of the details have morphed and changed.
Characters have walked into the story from out of nowhere and insinuated themselves as cornerstones of the books in which they reside and those that follow.
Plot points have moved, from the beginning of the series, to the middle, and now to the end.
Even though I am a meticulous plotter, typically drawing up a book’s outline by chapter well before I start writing it, I’ve learned the benefits of being flexible with my story. My style has developed into a sort of hybrid: still heavily plotter, but with just enough pantser to allow for more story to develop and grow on its own.
In production news, The Centaur Incursion is underway! I’ve got 1,000 words written and more ready to come out as soon as I get a chance to sit down. Also, The Hydra Offensive is more than halfway through the first round of paper edits. I plan on putting it through a second round, in which I’ll break the chapters down by POV rather than by chapter order.
I’ll be looking for beta readers soon, so if you’re interested let me know!
Stories on Wattpad
Add “The Cerberus Rebellion” to the Goodreads Gunpowder Fantasy List
I’m nearly completion on the first two rounds of editing for The Hydra Offensive (I’ve been doing a first-pass digital edit and following behind with a paper-and-pen round), so that should be going to edits very soon.
In the meantime, stop by Goodreads and vote for The Cerberus Rebellion to be added to the Gunpowder Fantasy listopia!
Evolution of Cities
Before the Industrial Revolution, populations were dispersed across nations. The number of people that could live in a given area was determined by the amount of food that could be produced close enough to the town/village and brought to market before it spoiled. Whether this was through agriculture, fishing, hunting, or livestock, food production was the number one determining factor of a population.
The Industrial Evolution changed that. As I discussed in my post on Agriculture in Gunpowder Fantasy, the reach of farms and farmers, and the ability to mechanize the production process, increased exponentially. This change left many farmhands without work. So they moved to the city, where new textile mills and factories were sprouting up to feed the Industrial machine.
Cities began to grow as more and more people poured into them from the countryside. But immigration wasn’t the only factor in the growth of cities. With better medicine and better food, more people were surviving for longer and having more children. Cities suddenly found themselves growing as much as 50% every 10 years.
On our world, this increase in population was strictly Human. But in a fantasy world, the immigrants and their children could be of a different species. Imagine a world where industrialization has suddenly rendered the majority of a dwarven city unemployed. Unable to feed their families, these dwarves move to the nearby human city, looking for work in the factories, foundries, and mills. They resent the fact that they have been replaced by machines and left to do the most menial tasks.
Imagine the tension between the two species, and any other populations that might live within the city.
This tension could lead to the formation of gangs as young, unemployed citizens roam the streets looking for fun, or to exact their own brand of justice on the world. The seeds of revolution could be planted, driving the nation toward civil war.
Overcrowding would also become a concern, as more and more people poured into the city, or were born into it. A city that had been built to house 10,000, within a generation it finds itself home to 30,000, many of them poor or uneducated. Sanitation would suffer and disease would spread. The city would tear itself apart as the rich hid within their houses and the pour died in the streets.
Edits and Beta Readers
So having completed The Hydra Offensive last week, I’ve started my first round of edits. I usually go through 2 rounds of digital editing, get the novel printed and do 2 paper runs, and then finish up with a final digital run before I send it off to Beta Readers.
I’m going to treat my paper runs a little differently than I’ve treated other paper prints. I’m going to get it printed out by chapter rather than as a whole. I’ll read through once in full chronological order, and then for my second pass I’m going to read each POV group from start to end to hone in on any inconsistencies.
Speaking of which (! nice segue huh?) I’m looking for people who would like to Beta Read The Hydra Offensive. I’m definitely looking for people who read The Cerberus Rebellion, but I’m also looking for people who might not have read Cerberus yet. I’m trying to make Hydra as new-reader friendly as possible and I would greatly appreciate feedback on how I did.
The Hydra Offensive Blurb, Version 2
Having completed The Hydra Offensive last night, I’m going to give another try at the blurb. I trimmed it down, and tried to make it fit a little better into my strategy of making Hydra “new reader friendly”.
Let me know what you think!
Read the rest of this entry
Worldbuilding: The Ansgari Knighthood
One aspect of traditional fantasy that I’ve incorporated into the Griffins & Gunpowder universe is the concept of a Knighthood as a part of the Military Apparatus.
For the nation of Ansgar, the Knighthood is part of the Chain Of Command but is not a requirement to become an officer.
While a knighthood comes with a Commission, a Commission does not come with a knighthood.
There are three ranks of the Ansgari Knighthood: Knight-Lieutenant, Knight-Captain, and Knight-Commander.
Each level of the Knighthood is considered the equivalent to a half rank. So, a Knight-Lieutenant B half a rank above a commissioned Lieutenant but also half of a rank below a commissioned Captain. The same is true of Knight-Captains between Captains and Majors, and Knight-Commanders above Majors but below Colonels.
Another unique aspect of the Ansgari Knighthood is that only the King can grant a Knighthood. Because of the distance involved, and the King’s increasing apathy toward them, the Western Nobles of Ansgar have a Muck lower occurrence Of knights within their ranks.
Depending on what parts of Traditional Fantasy you include in your world, consider different ways to integrate the title of knight.
Excerpt: The Hydra Offensive
Here’s the first bit of The Hydra Offensive! I’m just about finished with the first draft, so if I work hard, I can have it out by January! Please be advised, this is literally the first draft so it hasn’t been edited.